I hope you’ve had a nice summer. I took a break this summer from everything having to do with the book I wrote, which was released in June. After it came out and when up on Amazon, I just wanted to forget about it. I did no marketing and made no attempts to sell copies. It had been a long journey and I needed to hibernate from it for a while. Summer hibernation, I know…Now it’s Spring for the little book with a big purpose. I’m ready to wake it up.
I dug out a box of printed copies I had made in June, and took a copy to a big-name book store, with the intention of seeing what needs to be done to get it on the shelves. When I pulled out the book and showed it to an eager and very pleasant young saleswoman, she excitedly looked at me and asked, after an “Oh my God!”
Are you proud of it?
No one had asked me that since the inception of the book. Honestly, I didn’t know how to respond! I wasn’t able to say yes. I just looked at her, dumbfounded. I have no idea what I blurted out, but I’m not sure it was coherent and I’ve been thinking about it ever since. It’s like it didn’t register as a possibility, that I should be proud of it. The feeling of what she was conveying with her question did not touch me. It still doesn’t.
I’m not pleased with how the cover turned out, and my ego feels a bit embarrassed by the “smallness” of the book, with its 58 pages. Not that I set out to write a novel; it was always meant to be a companion and foundational book for deeper exploration in workshops or classes. Was this why I wasn’t proud? Maybe on a superficial level, yes.
But when I sat with it, I realized the truth: I’m not proud of this book because pride has nothing to do with anything I do anymore. Pride is very far removed from the state I try to live my life in. There’s nothing wrong with pride…But I have none.
Yes, I like to do things well and be satisfied with a result. But I don’t look for validation from my work, other people or even myself. Is that good or bad? Who cares. It’s just the way it is, and I am ok with that.
The little book, which is not going to end up on the book shelves of that big-box store because it would require a long and bullshit process of having a book-launch/signing event (it can be great; I just don’t feel like pushing for people to show up and fake interest just so the store can see a positive response and decide it’s shelf-worthy)…That little book talks about living in a state of GOLDen (divine) consciousness through which something bigger than our small selves directs and guides our activities, thoughts and decisions.
My not being proud tells me that I’ve started to practice what I preach. This is not “my” book, and I didn’t write it for “me”. It was inspired and although I’m starting to take more active steps to get it out there and build a teaching around it, I’m sitting back, resting in the energy of “what wants to be done” with it.
And that, my friends, is what I wanted to share with you.
I would love to hear from you regarding any offerings you would like to see around the Going for GOLD teaching. Meditation classes? In person or online? Full day workshop? Retreat? I am listening.
I have nicknamed the 4-step process described in the book “G4G practice”, a hashtag you can follow on Instagram along with #goingforgoldbook and #everydayspiritualliving.
As always you can connect with me on Facebook
Be safe, be well, and I’ll see you in the Great One Life which is Divine.
Going for GOLD: Everyday Spiritual Living, is available on Amazon 🙂